Doing the Perp Walk

Doing the Perp Walk (sung to the tune of Under the boardwalk )

Another piece from several years ago with current relevance. 

When the TV lights beat down

And burn the tar on the roof

And you=re so hot

You wish the accounts were bulletproof

Doin= the Perp Walk

Thanks to the SEC

On the way to prison

>though it=s min security

(Doin= the Perp Walk) Out of the sun

(Doin= the Perp Walk) We'll be on the run

(Doin= the Perp Walk) the handcuffs may chafe

(Doin= the Perp Walk) but investors assets are safe

(Doin= the Perp Walk,  Perp Walk)

From the Street you'll hear

The sound of the closing bell

But that don=t matter cause

you=re out of assets to sell

Doin= the Perp Walk

Thanks to the SEC

On the way to prison

>though it=s min security

(Doin= the Perp Walk) Out of the sun

(Doin= the Perp Walk) We'll be on the run

(Doin= the Perp Walk) the handcuffs may chafe

(Doin= the Perp Walk) but investors assets are safe

(Doin= the Perp Walk,  Perp Walk)

Oh, Doin= the Perp Walk

Thanks to the SEC

On the way to prison

>though it=s min security

(Doin= the Perp Walk) Out of the sun

(Doin= the Perp Walk) We'll be on the run

(Doin= the Perp Walk) the handcuffs may chafe

(Doin= the Perp Walk) but investors assets are safe

(Doin= the Perp Walk,  Perp Walk)

Extremely Ineffective Daily Affirmations

    

I have the power to channel my imagination into ever‑soaring levels of suspicion and paranoia.

I assume full responsibility for my actions, except the ones that are someone else's fault.

I no longer need to punish, deceive, or compromise myself.  Unless, of course, I want to stay employed.

 In some cultures what I do would be considered normal.

Having control over myself is nearly as good as having control over others.

 My intuition nearly makes up for my lack of good judgment.

I can change any thought that hurts into a reality that hurts even more.

I honor my personality flaws, for without them I would have no personality at all.

I am grateful that I am not as judgmental as all those censorious, self‑righteous people around me.

I need not suffer in silence while I can still moan, whimper,  and complain.

As I learn the innermost secrets of the people around me, they reward me in many ways to keep me quiet.

When someone hurts me, forgiveness is cheaper than a lawsuit.  But not nearly as gratifying.

The first step is to say nice things about myself. The second, to do nice things for myself. The third, to find someone to buy me nice things.

As I learn to trust the universe, I no longer need to carry a gun.

All of me is beautiful and valuable, even the ugly, stupid, and disgusting parts.

 I am at one with my duality.

 Blessed are the flexible, for they can tie themselves into knots.

 I will strive to live each day as if it were my 50th birthday.

Only a lack of imagination saves me from immobilizing myself with imaginary fears.

Does my quiet self‑pity get to you or should I move up to incessant nagging?

Today I will gladly share my experience and advice, for there are no sweeter words than "I told you so."

 False hope is nicer than no hope at all.

 A good scapegoat is nearly as welcome as a solution to the problem.

 Just for today, I will not sit in my living room all day watching TV.

 Instead I will move my TV into the bedroom.

Who can I blame for my own problems? Give me just a minute...   I'll find someone.

 Why should I waste my time reliving the past when I can spend it worrying about the future?

The complete lack of evidence is the surest sign that the conspiracy is working.

   I am learning that criticism is not nearly as effective as sabotage.

 Becoming aware of my character defects leads me to the next step‑‑‑ blaming my parents.

  I will find humor in my everyday life by looking for people I can laugh at.

  The next time the universe knocks on my door, I will pretend I am not home.

  My body is a temple. Do you want to come over for midnight mass?

  To have a successful relationship I must learn to make it look like I'm giving as much as I'm getting.

No way will I accept YES for an answer !

I am willing to make the mistakes if someone else is willing to learn from them.

Auditor's Blues

Auditor=s Blues (sung to the tune of Smuggler=s Blues by Glen Fry)

 Written at the time of the Enron scandals but still appallingly appropriate.

         There's trouble on Wall Street tonight,

                     I can feel it in my bones.

                     I had a premonition,

                     That we should not make the loan.

                     I knew the books were bogus,

                     But I didn't get a thrill.

                     Everything they told us,

                     Was just water by the mill.

                     So baby, here's your ticket,

                     Put the suitcase in your hand.

                     Here's a little money now,

                     Do it just the way we planned.

                     You be cool for twenty hours

                     And I'll pay you twenty grand.

                     I'm sorry it went down like this,

                     And someone had to lose,

                     It's the nature of the business,

                     It's the auditor's blues,

                     Auditor's Blues.

                     The lawyers and accountants,

                     The day traders and the law,

                     The pay offs and the rip offs,

                     And the things nobody saw.

                     No matter if it's SPEs, tax shelters, or hauling trash,

                     You're loath to follow GAAP

                     Cause you earn consulting cash.

                     There's lots of shady characters,

                     Lots of dirty deals.

                     Ev'ry name's an alias

                     In case somebody squeals.

                     It's the lure of easy money,

                     It's gotta very strong appeal.

                     Perhaps you'd understand it better

                     Standin' in my shoes,

                     It's the ultimate enticement,

                     It's the auditor's blues,

                     Auditor's Blues.

The Efficient Krugman Hypothesis

Proposed Wikipedia entry
The Efficient Krugman Hypothesis

This hypothesis originally proposed by Professor J. Bradford DeLong of the University of California, Berkeley has two versions, strong and weak.

The Strong version is:
Proposition 1: Paul Krugman is always right.
Proposition 2: If your analysis indicates that Paul Krugman is wrong, see Proposition 1.

The Weak version:
Proposition 1: Paul Krugman is always right.
Proposition 2: If your analysis indicates that Paul Krugman is wrong, recheck your analysis for errors.

Curiously in contrast to the case of the Efficient Markets Hypothesis, the Stronger version of the Efficient Krugman hypothesis has substantially greater empirical support.