Doing the Perp Walk

Doing the Perp Walk (sung to the tune of Under the boardwalk )

Another piece from several years ago with current relevance. 

When the TV lights beat down

And burn the tar on the roof

And you=re so hot

You wish the accounts were bulletproof

Doin= the Perp Walk

Thanks to the SEC

On the way to prison

>though it=s min security

(Doin= the Perp Walk) Out of the sun

(Doin= the Perp Walk) We'll be on the run

(Doin= the Perp Walk) the handcuffs may chafe

(Doin= the Perp Walk) but investors assets are safe

(Doin= the Perp Walk,  Perp Walk)

From the Street you'll hear

The sound of the closing bell

But that don=t matter cause

you=re out of assets to sell

Doin= the Perp Walk

Thanks to the SEC

On the way to prison

>though it=s min security

(Doin= the Perp Walk) Out of the sun

(Doin= the Perp Walk) We'll be on the run

(Doin= the Perp Walk) the handcuffs may chafe

(Doin= the Perp Walk) but investors assets are safe

(Doin= the Perp Walk,  Perp Walk)

Oh, Doin= the Perp Walk

Thanks to the SEC

On the way to prison

>though it=s min security

(Doin= the Perp Walk) Out of the sun

(Doin= the Perp Walk) We'll be on the run

(Doin= the Perp Walk) the handcuffs may chafe

(Doin= the Perp Walk) but investors assets are safe

(Doin= the Perp Walk,  Perp Walk)

Extremely Ineffective Daily Affirmations

    

I have the power to channel my imagination into ever‑soaring levels of suspicion and paranoia.

I assume full responsibility for my actions, except the ones that are someone else's fault.

I no longer need to punish, deceive, or compromise myself.  Unless, of course, I want to stay employed.

 In some cultures what I do would be considered normal.

Having control over myself is nearly as good as having control over others.

 My intuition nearly makes up for my lack of good judgment.

I can change any thought that hurts into a reality that hurts even more.

I honor my personality flaws, for without them I would have no personality at all.

I am grateful that I am not as judgmental as all those censorious, self‑righteous people around me.

I need not suffer in silence while I can still moan, whimper,  and complain.

As I learn the innermost secrets of the people around me, they reward me in many ways to keep me quiet.

When someone hurts me, forgiveness is cheaper than a lawsuit.  But not nearly as gratifying.

The first step is to say nice things about myself. The second, to do nice things for myself. The third, to find someone to buy me nice things.

As I learn to trust the universe, I no longer need to carry a gun.

All of me is beautiful and valuable, even the ugly, stupid, and disgusting parts.

 I am at one with my duality.

 Blessed are the flexible, for they can tie themselves into knots.

 I will strive to live each day as if it were my 50th birthday.

Only a lack of imagination saves me from immobilizing myself with imaginary fears.

Does my quiet self‑pity get to you or should I move up to incessant nagging?

Today I will gladly share my experience and advice, for there are no sweeter words than "I told you so."

 False hope is nicer than no hope at all.

 A good scapegoat is nearly as welcome as a solution to the problem.

 Just for today, I will not sit in my living room all day watching TV.

 Instead I will move my TV into the bedroom.

Who can I blame for my own problems? Give me just a minute...   I'll find someone.

 Why should I waste my time reliving the past when I can spend it worrying about the future?

The complete lack of evidence is the surest sign that the conspiracy is working.

   I am learning that criticism is not nearly as effective as sabotage.

 Becoming aware of my character defects leads me to the next step‑‑‑ blaming my parents.

  I will find humor in my everyday life by looking for people I can laugh at.

  The next time the universe knocks on my door, I will pretend I am not home.

  My body is a temple. Do you want to come over for midnight mass?

  To have a successful relationship I must learn to make it look like I'm giving as much as I'm getting.

No way will I accept YES for an answer !

I am willing to make the mistakes if someone else is willing to learn from them.

Auditor's Blues

Auditor=s Blues (sung to the tune of Smuggler=s Blues by Glen Fry)

 Written at the time of the Enron scandals but still appallingly appropriate.

         There's trouble on Wall Street tonight,

                     I can feel it in my bones.

                     I had a premonition,

                     That we should not make the loan.

                     I knew the books were bogus,

                     But I didn't get a thrill.

                     Everything they told us,

                     Was just water by the mill.

                     So baby, here's your ticket,

                     Put the suitcase in your hand.

                     Here's a little money now,

                     Do it just the way we planned.

                     You be cool for twenty hours

                     And I'll pay you twenty grand.

                     I'm sorry it went down like this,

                     And someone had to lose,

                     It's the nature of the business,

                     It's the auditor's blues,

                     Auditor's Blues.

                     The lawyers and accountants,

                     The day traders and the law,

                     The pay offs and the rip offs,

                     And the things nobody saw.

                     No matter if it's SPEs, tax shelters, or hauling trash,

                     You're loath to follow GAAP

                     Cause you earn consulting cash.

                     There's lots of shady characters,

                     Lots of dirty deals.

                     Ev'ry name's an alias

                     In case somebody squeals.

                     It's the lure of easy money,

                     It's gotta very strong appeal.

                     Perhaps you'd understand it better

                     Standin' in my shoes,

                     It's the ultimate enticement,

                     It's the auditor's blues,

                     Auditor's Blues.

My Top Ten Books

By John Howard Brown

My top ten is not very high falutin’.  It consists of books that I reread again and again.  They are listed below in no particular order with brief comments.

The Hobbit  by J.R.R. Tolkien    

The function of fantasy and science fiction is to create entirely fictional worlds that are believable, then draw you into them with appealing characters.  Tolkien achieved this masterfully.  It is much better than the Lord of the Rings trilogy.  Also this is a book that I shared with my son when he was younger and a source of pleasant memories on that account.

Dune by Frank Herbert

A science fiction classic which achieves just what was discussed above.  It is also a meditation on the use and abuse of religion in politics.  This too spawned sequels of steadily declining quality and interest.

 The Uplift Wars by David Brin

The last science fiction in my top ten, I promise.  It is notable for the most engaging fictional character whom I have ever encountered, (hold on to your hats) an intelligent, genetically enhanced chimpanzee.

The Civil War by Shelby Foote

This is an accomplishment in historical writing comparable to the best ever written.  I actually cried when I finished the final book, because I knew that, unlike my other favorites, I would never read it in full again.

The Mediterranean World by Fernand Braudel

The father of the Annales School of French historians wrote this masterful work describing the depths of the environmental and social sea in the 16^th Century Mediterranean below the winds and tides of contemporary politics.

Cities and the Wealth of Nations by Jane Jacobs

America’s most distinguished 20^th Century urbanist, discusses exactly why people continue to find urban living preferable to rural on economic grounds.

The Entropy Law and the Economic Process by Nicholas Georgescu-Roegen

An early attempt to recognize that the economy is also a part of the natural environment and the consequences thereof.

The Wealth of Nations by Adam Smith

Adam Smith is arguably the greatest philosopher of political-economy.  This book is an exposition of the beneficial effects of the operation of markets.  Contrary to received opinion, Smith’s appraisal of capitalist economies is a measured one not an apologia.

The Path Between the Seas by David McCullough

David McCullough writes beautifully and tells the fascinating story of the dream of, and actual realization of, the Panama Canal.

Cyborgs and Eskimos

My mother, not at all a 21^st Century type, recently visited and commented that students seemed almost to have their cellphones growing out of their ears.  It struck me at the time that this is the first step in the cyborgization of humanity.  In particular, the people who use the Blue Tooth hands free cells remind me of the Borg on the TV series, Star Trek, the Next Generation.  All of which sparks some thoughts on “appropriate” technology and the future of humanity.

Where do Eskimos come into this?  Well, the Inuit population represents a group that had developed an exquisite technological adaptation to an extremely hostile environment.  In the bleak circumpolar regions where most dwellers in more temperate climes would perceive few possibilities for survival, they managed to carve a relatively comfortable niche.  Indeed, most 19^th Century European polar explorers depended upon the good graces of the Inuit for their survival.  Where that assistance was not available, as in the famous case of the Hecla and Fury, they died almost to a man.  Chalk one up to “appropriate” technology.

But wait just a minute, Inuit populations to this day make use of local resources (mostly marine mammals and caribou) for their subsistence.  However, the seal bladder buoys, wood and bone harpoons, and walrus skin kayaks are long gone.  In their place are the gleaming products of Euro-American technology.  It is also well to remember that the life expectancy of those 19^th Century Inuit was probably only in the 30s.  Although still tragically low relative to the European descended populations of the US and Canada, it has still climbed appreciably.

Consider also, a true cyborg wirelessly connected to a database dropped into the Artic wilderness.  Just as the Inuit had a culturally derived appreciation for the resources available and method appropriate to access them, the cyborg can call forth the information from her database.   That data collected by generations of Inuit and the anthropologists who observed them, would probably represent the essential margin between life and death for the stranded cyborg.

The point: appropriate technology is that technology which allows individuals to cope successfully with the environment in which they find themselves.

IRAQ=Syracuse?

IRAQ=Syracuse?

One of the reasons for the decline and fall of the classical Athenian democracy was a disastrous attempt by Athens to coerce Syracuse, the dominant city-state on the (by ancient standards) incredibly rich island of Sicily.  The Athenian expeditionary force, plagued by internal dissension, was destroyed almost to the man.  Athens in the fifth century BC was in some ways very comparable to the United States in the early 21^st Century.  Athens had assembled a coalition to resist an implacable, imperial foe which had “enslaved” the Greek population of what is now Turkey.  Afterwards, Athens converted that anti-Persian coalition into an empire of its own  The analogy with the United States and the Cold War against the Soviet Union is too obvious to belabor.

Interest Groups, NeoConservatism, and the Military Industrial Complex

Andrew Bacevich has a post at the American Conservative magazine website (not at all my usual reading) decrying the failure of the United State's foreign policy elites to comprehend the limitations of military force as a tool of foreign policy. As noted in the sub-title, "America has an impressive record of starting wars but a dismal one of ending them well." He faults the Obama administration for not breaking with the consensus in favor of the use of force. This is certainly not an unwelcome message for a semi-pacifist leftist such as my self, and the source is quite surprising from my point of view.

However, there is something missing from Bacevich's analysis. This is the role of interest group politics in determining America's foreign policy posture. Specifically, I refer to the NeoConservatives. This group emerged in the 1970s and 80s as a response to their perception that American resistance to Communism had been weakened by the (eventual) public rejection of the VietNam war. Whatever useful purpose they might have served in the waning days of the Cold War, it was pretty much mooted by the collapse of Communism in Eastern Europe and the Soviet Union.

However, by the time of these events, neoconservatives had adopted a further function, that of front group for the interests of the Military Industrial Complex. The Neocons have the distinction of being the only interest group that is a recognized political faction without the stigma of being labeled an interest group.

The Neocons were initially triumphalist (consider Francis Fukuyama's (1992), The End of History. However, a problem soon presented itself, how to justify the continued massive weapons building industry and military establishments? The result was a chicken with its head cutoff scramble to find a suitable enemy to justify these wastefully deadly expenditures. First it was Saddam, then, in the early days of George the Second's reign, Communist China, then once again Saddam. None of these were very satisfying as an embodiment of evil. After all, we had handily beaten Saddam in the early post-Cold War days, and China was becoming an increasingly important trading partner.

Of course, the Neocons, neither individually nor collectively too bright, had to be bashed in the head with the perfect enemy, Islamic fundamentalism. It is no accident that the response to 9/11 and other acts of terror has been labeled the War on Terror. Only a full scale and unending war can justify the bloated war machine that the US now supports. One is reminded of George Orwell's 1984, where Oceania must be perpetually at war to justify the Oligarchal Collectivism. As better writers than I have recognized, you can have a war on a tactic. In any case, the most effective tactics for combating terrorism are good police and intelligence work, not military campaigns.